|
I once knew a guy in New York City named "Frankie No
Last Names," (believe me, I don't have to make this stuff
up). He was either a retired cop or an active mobster, but his
job was to sit at a bar every night in a particular restaurant
and look tough. He was intimidating, to say the least, but
rumored to be a nice guy if he liked you. If he didn't, then you
could be the source of his on-the-job fun.
Frankie's duties consisted of eating dinner, having a few
glasses of wine and giving dirty looks to anyone who might cause
trouble. Occasionally he'd have to throw someone over a table,
but not everyone's work day can be problem free. Besides, he
seemed to enjoy the physical contact and always had a good laugh
whenever his best stare would cause one of us to wet ourselves.
Frankie returned every evening, not just for the dinner
special, but because he liked his job. He was good at it, had
earned respect, and laughed a lot over our laundry bills.
Humor in the workplace is becoming a hot topic for businesses
everywhere. Laughter Experts, (now there's a job), visit company
lunchrooms for more than free meals. They're hired to share
ideas about how a little on-the-job fun can improve
productivity, relieve stress and get even with the practical
joker working next to you. Many companies have entertainment
budgets to hire comedians for jokes and employee motivation in
case a presentation by the Chairman of the Board proves he's
actually a Chairman of the Bored.
Then again, some employers could earn as many laughs if they
were asked to compare their entertainment budgets to the amount
they spend at bonus time. But today we're using "m"
for motivation - not mutiny...
I received an entertaining email this week from a reader who
signed her name, "ladydi." Immediately, I skimmed
through the contents searching for any reference to
"Princess," assuming the news would bump this article
to the front page and earn me a place in line when they hand out
the next Pulitzer Prize.
As it turns out, ladydi doesn't own a title, but she does
have a royal sense of humor. Especially when it comes to using
it in the workplace.
Ladydi had gathered a list of suggestions for Keeping A
Healthy Level Of Insanity At Work While Driving Other People
Insane, and asked me to share them with you. In the tradition of
David Letterman, the U.S. Space Program and my mother, (for
giving me the dreaded childhood bedtime countdown until I was
supposed to, "Be quiet and go to sleep!"), I've
arranged them into a Top Ten List. They all seem to stand pretty
well on their own, so you won't need any more commentary from
me. Just take a moment to think about each and be glad you're
reading this before someone you work with does.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you today's Top Ten List from
our U.S. home office in Be-Quiet-And-Go-To-Sleep, Ohio.
Number...
10. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your
voice)
9. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they
want fries with that.
8. Don't use any punctuation.
7. Rave to everyone about how much you love lemonade. Drink
lemonade in front of them. Do this for about a week, then come
in one day with your face painted yellow. From then on, talk
about how much you hate lemonade.
6. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what
you think."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to
expresso.
4. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
their party because you're not in the mood.
3. At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair
dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same
outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is
especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender).
And the number one answer to keep your sanity at work while
driving other people insane...
1. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it
"IN."
© North Shore Publishing
For information about Dave Schwensen's keynote presentations
and training seminars visit TalkingForSuccess.com
|
